 The last 2 weeks have been very difficult. I came out to New Hampshire to help care for my sick Mother and now I sit here holding her hand as she waits to move on. Why is it so difficult to let go? Even when she has expressed the need to move on and she tells everyone not to be sad. She has said her goodbyes, and we have said ours, but that does not make it any easier. At times I feel jealous of my Brother and Sister. They have had more time with Mom than I have. I was born 13 years after them. So in reality they have had Mom for 13 more years than I have. I also moved to Colorado in 1986 and although I have visited as often as possible I feel saddened that I did not visit more. what would life have been if I would have never moved. Life is too short - we all need to get the things done that we know we have to do. There is no time for waiting around. I called every weekend and talked with her and Dad. I hope it was enough to let her know how much I love her. She is stronger than anyone I know. That's my Mom. Today i signed up for the Steamboat Springs Triathlon, this is my A-Race for this year and my longest Traithlon yet. I am devoting this race to my Mother. I did wish that she would have been able to watch me race in Boston next year, or the Timberman Triathlon next year. She has never been able to attend any of my races in Colorado. I really wanted to make her proud - I think she is. I guess she will be able to watch all of my races in the future. She will have the best seat in the house. I hope that her guiding hand will be there to push me forward when I get tired. My training will take on a new urgency and intensity. I want to make her proud of me. In Loving Memory of my Mother - Theresa Maynard - I'll miss you Mom. John |
